A Modern Day "Inbetweener"
As a fairly new voice contributing to the overwhelming noise of the internet, I feel like I should provide something new. But if you've ever opened Google and searched, then you know it is basically impossible to be original. I feel like almost everything I've posted or ever will post has undoubtedly been said before. But as much as I find it agitating, isn't that sort of the fascinating thing about the internet? You basically have loads of information at your fingertips with thousands of different points and perspectives. Anyway, unnecessary tangent aside, there is something to be said for the unique voices and different perspectives that inhabit space on the internet.
It is one thing to analyze the sheer magnitude of stuff on the internet, but it is another to see how that noise affects the people that read it. Yes, that means you and me and, lets be honest, most people. I think one topic that grows ever-present is our constant awareness of our identities. But what does that mean? I know that word carries a lot of zing these days - "identity". It kind of seems to encircle all of us all the time and the internet (yes, I am including social media in "the internet") is one of those things that perpetuates these thoughts constantly.
Everyday, when I open my phone to yet again scroll through Instagram and Twitter, I am inundated with images of people projecting their best selves. Now, I do feel that I can say their has been a slight rise of awareness around this, but it still seems like there could be more? Also, I feel its probably worth mentioning I am a part of this majority. I am absolutely the same as everyone who finds joy in looking at the pictures of the fun parts of peoples lives! But its impossible to not feel a small tug at the back of my mind annoyingly encouraging me to think about reality.
I am what I like to classify as an "inbetweener". Now, that could mean a host of things. After all, there are a lot of things to be in the middle of. But for the sake of this conversation, I am referring to my proportions. For those of you that I've never met: I am short, strong, and a big sweet tooth. Now, the reason I say I'm an "inbetweener" is because I can fit into four different sizes at the same store. I am not a plus-sized girl, but I can't always rely on a regular Large. I am stuck in an in-between place where nothing is reliable and every single piece of clothing bought online is taking a gamble. But this post is not meant to be a rant or a long string of complaints. I just wanted to add a perspective that I have yet to hear among the internet noise.
There has been massive strides in the plus-size fashion world in the last few years. Amazing women, like Ashley Graham and Olivia Campbell, have completely changed the game for millions of women out there. Believe me, I will cheer them on 'till the end of time, but sometimes its pretty hard for me to relate to them. I don't think of myself as a plus size woman, I just think of myself as a... well thats just it. I can't think of a descriptor without using unflattering words that the social world has taught me to say. That's why I think its important to have all different voices and perspectives on the internet: so that absolutely everyone can understand someone in the world feels exactly the same way.
So, let me tell you... I'm here and I get it. I understand being an unpredictable size. And trust me, I understand walking into a fitting room with high hopes and walking away empty-handed. More than anything, I understand having to reach to all ends of the earth to find something that fits perfectly. Now partly, I know that this is because each store is different and nothing is standardized. But I also learned an interesting tidbit about the fashion industry a few days ago. I was told by an employee of Forever 21, of which I am a fairly frequent customer, that they only stock one XL for every piece of clothing in every shipment. ONE. Then 2 Larges, 3 mediums, and so on. Not only that, but they do not provide the larger sizes for "clothing that would not look flattering on women of a larger size". Ummmmmmm, what? I am just wondering when we'll stop telling women what they can and can't wear? Or when we will admit, as a society, that walking into a store and knowing that they carry your size in everything is a privilege?
Dear God, I sure hope its soon.
All in all, thanks for reading through this lengthy tirade. It's a conversation that I believe we need to have more often. I think it's important that we allow this incoming generation of young women to define what is beautiful for themselves before someone tells them what they need to believe. So, forgive me. But I hope you can take something from this. This is definitely a big part of many women's identities. And if there is no way that you can relate, I am sorry. I guess, now you know what it's like to be a woman in a society where image seems to be everything.
Talk again soon.